Intimate Strangers


Intimate Strangers is a book for every man and woman who has ever yearned for an intimate relationship and wondered why it seemed so elusive. The voices we hear in this path-breaking book seem like our own; the people who live on its pages speak directly to our concerns and experiences. But the analysis Dr. Rubin offers is anything but familiar. Applying recent
knowledge about the psychology of infancy and the effect on human development of the fact that women are the primary nurturers of early childhood, Dr. Rubin explains not just how the differences between women and men arise, but how they affect such critical issues in adult relationships as intimacy, sexuality, dependency, work, and parenting.

Intimate Strangers is a sympathetic portrayal of the internal lives of men as well as women, and a brilliantly lucid explanation of the differences between us. Whether writing about “the approach avoidance dance” of intimacy, “redefining dependency,” or “the sexual dilemma,” Dr. Rubin presents a subtle, complex and wholly fresh look at adult relationships that is both startling and compassionate. She never flinches from asking tough questions nor does she resort to easy answers. Consequently, the book resonates with an honesty and integrity that are unmistakable..

This original contribution to the social psychology of intimacy goes a long way to answer some of our most profound –and disturbing — questions about our ability to relate to each other. Armed with the insights it offers, each of us will be better equipped to deal with both our own internal conflicts and those of our partner as we struggle to reorder our personal and emotional lives so that they bring us the satisfaction we seek.